My hair hurts!! Yes, my hair... and my toe nails... and well, everything else. Some days no matter what meds I take or what I try to do, there is no answer for the pain. It's almost midnight, Kristina is asleep on her side of the bed and Jet and Leila are having puppy dreams between us. I, on the other hand, am sitting here with two TENS (Transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation) units strapped to my legs and back in an attempt to reduce the pain enough to sleep. They use electrical current to stimulate nerve endings and help treat chronic pain. They help the pain some, but only for short periods of time. I still feel blessed to have them. I'm writing tonight because I am frustrated and rather than allow it to fester and continue into tomorrow I want to see if I can spill it all out and clean the slate. It feels like a really bad flu... all day everyday. I used to be active. I went to the gym at least once a day. I ran. I lifted. I trained. Now... I sit... I hurt... I complain. As Kristina would tell you, I am not the man she married. She's right. Right now I am a shell of the man I once was. But, I will never give up.
A few weeks ago, after over two years, I admitted defeat. I admitted that that my health problems had taken me over. That acceptance opened the door for me to regroup and begin being positive and proactive. It isn't easy and I don't expect that it will ever be easy. But, nothing in life worth having comes easy.
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